Monday, February 18, 2019

Are You Tired of Being Human and Good Posture?

Pruning spam from the comments is damn near a daily thing. It's not unusual to wake and find some ad for Australian limos or alternative utility companies speckled through my posts.

On occasion, however, I get a real doozy. This one combines poor English skills with an insane, whack-a-doodle premise to rise above the rest:


Are you tired of being human, having talented brain turning to a vampire in a good posture in ten minutes, Do you want to have power and influence over others, To be charming and desirable, To have wealth, health, without delaying in a good human posture and becoming an immortal? If yes, these your chance. It's a world of vampire where life get easier,We have made so many persons vampires and have turned them rich, You will assured long life and prosperity, You shall be made to be very sensitive to mental alertness, Stronger and also very fast, You will not be restricted to walking at night only even at the very middle of broad day light you will be made to walk, This is an opportunity to have the human vampire virus to perform in a good posture.

I will admit, I am intrigued by the idea of posture as integral to being a vampire.

31 comments:

Kyle Maxwell said...

Wait, immortality and an excuse not to have to go outside during the day? That might actually be worth it.

trollsmyth said...

Kyle Maxwell: best read the fine print: ...even at the very middle of broad day light you will be made to walk... ;D

JB said...

I can only hope that someday my spam reaches this level of absurdity. Is there a setting in blogger that I'm not using?
; )

trollsmyth said...

JB: if you figure out what it is, tell me! ;D

BigFella said...

It's all that bending down to bite on necks. It's just murder on the lumbar region.

S. P. said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
S. P. said...

Oh, good, they've done this several times before and the benefactors are often rich! I was worried this was an experimental procedure.

Anne said...

That sounds like one Ben Marcus' prose-poems from "The Age of Wire and String."

Who knew spambots and postmodern authors would start to converge on one another stylistically?

Jeremy "frothsof" Smith said...

Hahaha amazing, my spam is so boring compared to yours

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trollsmyth said...

Well, speak of the devil! ;D

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Anonymous said...

Well are there any new vampires yet???

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